For weeks now, I have been guarding a secret.

A secret that I can hardly believe is mine.

I am in love and terrified and breathless and joyfilled, all at the same time.

My heart continues to be broken for all of us who want to be moms so bad we ache, and I hardly know how to spill my secret without causing more aching.

But I have to spill it, for it’s bursting out of me. And since the joy is starting to outweigh the fear and old aches and cracks, I think it’s time to tell.

This year we will receive the greatest Christmas gift of all – our baby is due December 12.

**I thought I’d end this post here, but knew you’d ask about these things: I am 9 weeks and everything looks and feels textbook good. I’m exhausted and have a lingering seasickness in my belly and my pants are starting to not fit at all differently. I have a great team of doctors and nurses, and a slightly low HCG level that I’m combating with progesterone suppositories 3 times a day. I have so many emotions and thoughts that I need to spill onto these pages that it was just time to tell you!

We have seen the heartbeat of the babe growing inside me.

Oh. my. word.

Happy Mothers Day, indeed!

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