While I was pregnant, I worried about transitioning to two children. I work from home, and while it’s a huge blessing (especially while nursing!) it’s also difficult. Even without kids in the house, I constantly see dishes and projects and to-do’s piling up, and it’s  tempting to toss in a load of laundry instead of meeting a deadline. And while kids are in the house with a sitter, it’s really hard to not join in the fun and play with them.

Besides working with kids around, there’ve been other transition trials since having my baby girl. The hours in my days simply fly by, and often at the end of the day I wonder what I actually accomplished. There are so many house projects, not to mention the everyday chores that often are neglected. I’ve grown to dread Saturdays, because we either take the day as a family to relax, or we power through projects, and either way I feel like we should’ve done more of the other. More often than not it ends with a spat, which is no fun at all.

Finally, my health is wonk. The other day I went out to buy a red, white and/or blue shirt to wear on the 4th of July because my clothes from last summer don’t fit my postpartum body yet. While in the store, I ended up trying on a couple pairs of shorts. They were on sale, fit nicely, and were even pink! The icky part is that they were the biggest size available. Literally. I could have gone down a size, but I like my pants to sit on my skin and not cause any bulging, so I usually opt for a roomier size. If I’d been any bigger I wouldn’t have been able to buy clothes in this store. I left in tears, but with the shorts in my hand anyway. That’s a whole other post but oof. It hurt.

I am ready for and need to make some changes in our home. Some kind of family systems need to be in place so that I can reclaim my sanity and pants size =) This isn’t about giving myself postpartum grace, or choosing to be with my babies instead of doing a load of dishes. This is for my health and well-being and because I feel something shifting in my own heart and I need to heed that. I want my babies to see a mama who likes herself, who is proud of what she’s become, who is living well. I want to be that mama. Right now I’m not, and while I’d usually mope in that, something is crumbling in me and creating room for change. It feels like January 1st or a spring cleaning or the first day at a new school. And if I don’t grab that, it will keep flitting away until it’s gone for good. I feel like the needle on a record player that has gotten offset a bit, and is scratching the vinyl instead of nicely fitting into its groove.

The goals I want to set aren’t really new things, just tweaks on things that are currently not working for us. While I’ve never been any good at goalsetting – I get frustrated that the goal isn’t accomplished already – here’s what I’m feeling would push me, in a good way, for the rest of these sweet summer days:

Body

  • (one-time goal) Clean out cabinets and toss/donate food
  • Workout 3x per week (during naptime, before they wake, or after bedtime)
  • Take kids to the park 2x per week (this includes a nice walk to get there)
  • Meet daily requirements of protein and vegetables (these are my two worst nutritional areas)
  • (one-time goal) Walk to our local farmers market with kids by end of season (it’s about a mile away)

Mind

  • (one-time goal) Create an updated financial budget and systems (cash system, checkbook register, weekly balancing night)
  • Spend time in my dirt patch garden
  • Keep up with my July Bible study book
  • Keep work during business hours as much as possible. Because of the nature of what I do, work will never be 100% from 8-5, but I can do more to minimize my nighttime laptop hours.

Home

  • (one-time goal) Donate a carload to church rummage sale from home accessories, clothing, shoes and kitchen items (this is great because there’s a deadline!)
  • Accomplish one cleaning project a day – load of laundry put away, kitchen floor swept, dishwasher run, etc. – and not feel pressure to get anymore than that one project done
  • Designate a specific portion of the weekends to a specific project – maybe choose one project a month to focus on?
  • Meal plan. I hate meal planning but really, really want to commit to it!

That looks like a lot, but honestly – I need it to be. I need to give this feeling of change some direction or I won’t go anywhere with it. Tell me, when you’re feeling the need for a spring clean of your life, what do you do?

-Anna {girl with blog}

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