Mother’s Day for the ‘Other Mothers’

Mother’s Day for the ‘Other Mothers’

There are parents without carseats, diapers or pacifiers. Mothers who do not have bedtime rituals or middle of the night feedings. Mothers without hand-stamped necklaces or birthstone rings. Parents who no longer have children. These are the other mothers – the ones...
36-week Bumpdate!

36-week Bumpdate!

So… we’re having a baby this month. Probably. I mean, nothing’s guaranteed, but essentially… We’re having a baby this month. It’s amazing how different things are for a third baby as opposed to the first one, at least for me. No...
on the orchid that has been telling my story

on the orchid that has been telling my story

Last year, after we lost our third baby, a dear friend of mine gave me an orchid. It had several blooms on it already, and the directions said to simply water it once a week. At the time, the gift itself was meaningful. After all, my love language is ‘being...

on choosing joy {a simply honest #girlwithbaby update}

So. Like a month ago, I was all, ‘The Boy’s going to be a big brother!! K bye.’ And then crickets from me about it. I could tell you it’s been busy, which is true. I could tell you how I got the flu and was in bed for a week, and how I still...

on how we’re doing

Since publishing this, so many of you have sent well-wishes, prayers, good thoughts, love through the internet and telephone. It’s only been a few days, but already we’ve gotten flowers, coffee, a dear card in the real mail. There hasn’t been much...

on the thing i have to tell you that i never wanted to say

We lost another baby last week. Honestly, the swirl of emotions in my head and heart is so intense and hard to define that I don’t really know what to type, how to direct my fingers, what to say. There are too many words to write, and no words to write, at the...

When Life Hurts Too Much

Loss and grief are familiar emotions to me. As you know, Jared and I have traveled the path of infertility, and through it God is bringing us closer to Him. That’s right, I said ‘is bringing’, not ‘brought’. The pain of infertility...

on the other side of a year

One year ago this week, I lost my baby.One year ago this week, my husband and I left our camp jobs and moved back to MN (and in with my mom).One year ago this week, I won a ticket to BlogHer10 in NYC. I needed joy & direction.——-This week, I am 19...

an intersection.

Last weekend we had a garage sale. I went inside to the bathroom, and after using the toilet saw blood in it. And not just a spot or two. Enough to make my face drain of color and my hands start shaking. I woke up and the mattress beneath me was soaked. We had dragged...

a secret, unfurled.

For weeks now, I have been guarding a secret. A secret that I can hardly believe is mine. I am in love and terrified and breathless and joyfilled, all at the same time. My heart continues to be broken for all of us who want to be moms so bad we ache, and I hardly know...

a milestone, passed.

My husband was coaching at a big tournament all weekend, so Nysse the dog and I spent most of the weekend together. Together, we: – laid on the bed and watched the snow and birds out the window, – played fetch with her favorite, green bone, – baked...

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